This is a story from a FOG who is a female. She has a somewhat different point of view. Her first thoughts of her family and children. One of the worst things, Goliath has been told, for all inmates is the real seperation from family and loved ones. Hard to take.
“Blend in or Bond out”
One of my last experiences was in the Floyd County jail serving a 93 day sentence. I have spent some time in and out if the place so I wasn’t too worried about it. You have to emotionally disconnect from the outside world while you’re there. I tried to forget about my kids missing their mom. I tried to not focus on how my absence put stress on my mom who had to step in and take responsibility for them or that I couldn’t be there for my brother as he watched his life fall apart. I decided instead to just throw myself into the ‘jail life’ otherwise I may not have maintained my sanity. Blend in or Bond out, whatever you do don’t cry, its that simple.
I was housed in B block which is used as the women’s segregation block so the entire top tier was locked down most the time. I managed to stay out of seg for the first month and was then filed a motion to transport to Clark County to take care of a warrant I had there. Before I was out of the shackles they used to transport me in I saw some friends waving to me through the windows in the holding cell. An old friend of mine was brought in at the same time I was so even though I wasn’t supposed to speak to the male inmates we caught up-still shackled-on what was going on and I learned he was on a 12yr sentence. The guard allowed us to talk and afterwards questioned me on our relationship. I was left in the holding cell for a few days.
IN THE HOLDING CELL
The guards kept black paper on the window so they didn’t have to deal with us or even acknowledge we were there really. There was a couple fights that took place before we even made it out of the holding cell and neither of them was noticed by the officers. Once I got to the classification pod I bunked up with an old friend from the streets. Obtaining drugs and tobacco wasn’t hard, we had cigarettes, lighters, and subutex within a few hours if being moved to that pod. Being locked in a tiny cell with someone for hours allows you plenty of time to talk and get to know each other. I saw on the news that my ex’s grandfather had died which started a conversation with a girl who lived a few cells down from me.
She ended up giving me a name and phone number of this man and said call him when I got back to Floyd and he would load up my books. When I got back to Floyd County I called the number, a man answered and I giggled and told him who I was and how I had gotten his number. He left me $90 that night and set up a visit so we could ‘meet.’ I used monkey poo-which is black putty similar window caulk- and Vaseline to make makeup and prettied up for his visit. Came to the visit and liked what he saw so continued putting money on my books so I could call him. At this point that was my only way of getting anything so you say what you have to in order to get what you want/need. This man was a an old, too-thin drunk who was missing an arm but I told him that he was just what I was looking for in a man-and he believed every word.
A PEN PAL AND JAIL ROMANCE
I had another man I wrote to for the simple fact its nice to get letters in jail, makes you feel nice to know somebody out there is thinking of you and takes time to sit and write to you. I was using one for the money and the other for entertainment and haven’t spoken or written to either since I’ve been out. My ex who had the grandpa pass away was also incarcerated in Floyd County jail. We were on our way to court one day and they tried to put us together on the elevator to go up to the court rooms. We began arguing before I got onto the elevator and he pushed me (while shackled) back off and I started after him but was held back by an officer who then separated us for the remainder of our court time. Soon after we were both put in seg for writing letters on the rec room walls and basketballs where we rekindled our relationship. Once in seg we were able to communicate easier because the male and female seg blocks shared a common entry. Because the female seg is in a regular block it was really easy for me to obtain extra stuff not allowed in seg so I made sure I sent ‘care packages’ over to him and wrote him everyday. On seg shower days I would ask to take my shower later so I could see him through the windows and would flash him and we both called his mom to relay messages to each other. I was originally only given 45days in seg but I got caught with tattoo equipment amongst other violations that kept me in longer. The main thing to remember is to do your time and not let your time do you.
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