Salutations! (and belated Valentine’s day) from me, the television programming critic and correspondent for Gawnews. I, Erma Thrask once again went down to Mr. Goliath’s compound and watched the programming provided by our illustrious Sheriff, Mr. Jamey Noel of the Wages of Sin. I must say, in my many years of commentary for Goliath and his somewhat disreputable and questionable internet publication, I can’t recall when my words had such IMMEDIATE and powerful effect! You may recall that last week I reviewed the 60 Day Sin program and urged the programmers and the Sheriff to provide the King James Bible and Spiritual encouragement to the sinners on his programming if he wanted to improve the tone of his facility.
How GRATIFYING to see that my words have been heeded!!!! But, I will come to that in more detail later. Let me first admit that I was gravely concerned to see Kody letting his love for something called ‘tater tots’ lead him to acts of violence against his fellow colleague. Much of the show was devoted to detailing the idea of ‘trading’ in food and how the prisoners used food as a sort of currency. Kody had been owed some potatoes. When the debt was not repaid, he resorted to fisticuffs in a concealed room in the facility. This was shocking and unacceptable.
Of course, I fully understand the importance of a nutritious and wholesome diet. I provided the late Mr. Thrask with a regular diet of boiled potatoes, boiled or baked meat and some steamed broccoli on a daily basis. On occasion I would ‘spice’ it up with some carrots baked with a light dusting of brown sugar. Mr. Thrask certainly thrived until his death on this plain, but wholesome regimen. This said, I must caution the Sheriff that ‘tater tots’ are not the correct way to serve potatoes! Potatoes should be boiled!!! Listen to Erma Thrask …and take heed…the potato contains needed vitamins and minerals in the peel that must be retained. All that is lost when they are mashed and deep fried as these ‘tots’ apparently are. The savory fry flavor also incites emotional passions that are not helpful to the soul seeking spiritual calm Sir. We witnessed the results of this dietary error on your programming in episode 3. You have been cautioned!
Next I turned to dreadful scenes filmed in the women’s dormitory. Apparently you have seen fit to deploy a large and powerful Negro woman in your ‘secret spy’ plan. I suppose that is your choice but through these old eyes, it seems a tasteless and doubtful choice Mr. Sheriff. I see this woman has adopted a vaguely Islamic (heathen) sounding ‘cover name’ of “Yazmin”. Sir, this is only stirring the pot. Introducing an Islamic element into the show is a very poor choice in my view and will only serve to degrade the efforts of others who would seek the Lord. Think about your responsibility Sir!
But, now, after these rebukes, Sheriff Noel, I must tell you how very delighted I am that you have instituted something I never dreamt to see on your program, 60 Day Sin….prayer meeting.
Just like Shadrach Meshach and Abednego (Book of Daniel, chapter 3) these men can walk in the ‘fiery furnace’ and not be harmed because of the power of PRAYER. I was thrilled! I did have some concern when I saw Robert abstain from holding hands with his brothers …but I can only imagine he perhaps was not ready to take that step which he may perceive as a step towards ‘jailhouse’ homosexual overtures. One notes his garbled and confusing comments about ‘molesting’ and being better than a molester. I confess, I, Erma Thrask grew a bit confused at that point. But, highest praises Sheriff!. But please!…Provide those King James Bibles to these spiritually thirsting men and women as soon as possible!