A story about the Shyster Lawyer

As you may know, the GSL has a portfolio of assigned cases.  The GSL LOVES criminal cases and has always fooled around in this neck of the legal woods so to speak.  Mostly it’s tawdry everyday dumb crimes…but, on the occassional odd day the GSL gets something…well…something WEIRD.

When this case, we will call the case of “Mr. X” ,  got flipped on his desk  the GSL had to pause and double check his brief.  “What the Hell?”  The allegation was B felony Burglary, this, along with Intimidation,  Possession of Crack and a few other charges thrown in for good measure.  However,  the formal charges failed to mention “WHO” had been burglarized.  Now, the GSL aint’  really all that bright but he DID know that a criminal defendant has a right to face their accuser.  So the GSL cranked out a tidy little Motion to Dismiss that he filed with the Court.  Just to make sure the case didn’t get lost in the shuffle, the GSL tossed in a “Motion for Speedy Trial”.  Since Mr. X was in jail, if they didn’t bring his sorry butt to trial within a few weeks they would have to dismiss the dad blasted thing so it tends to get some attention.

Now, as the days followed on,  the GSL found out that Mr. X (facing 20 to 40 years in prison) was a N’awlins boy with a NASTY record.  Still,  GSL pushed on.  Digging in to the sordid little story, it turns out Mr.X had a BROTHER that maybe knew some SERIOUS info.  Thus, the cops had put the old boot heel on Mr. X’s neck and the case (which wasn’t really a case) was actually,  “the application of pressure”.  Now this here just the sort of game GSL likes.  GSL pushes back and turns the case inside out discovering inside woven into the threads of the police report a TRUE VILLAIN   that GSL has known of for a LONG time. (say about 13 years?)  Ah ha! Now we know why the push is on! The po po were ‘flipping’ a bad guy to get a worse guy, Mr. X is ‘collateral damage’…and the game was afoot.

The scene now shifts to a meeting between GSL and the deputy prosecutor.  Who, honest public servant that he/she is, acknowledges the rather ratchety and thin case and proposes a compromise to some lesser felonious outcome and limitation of sentence off the 20. Or, on the other hand,  let me check and see if I can get either the name  of the ‘victim” or permission to just let it go.   “Hmmm”  says the GSL and says, “well, let’s see”.

Meanwhile,  it turns out our dear Mr. X’s has ANOTHER…OLDER  previously filed felony which gets transferred from another court to GSL. Mr. X’s former lawyer laughing his a$$ off.  “Take that GSL!!”   GSL just shaking his head.

Next comes the day for Mr. X’s hearing on the Motion to Dismiss.  DPA (deputy prosecutor)  comes forward.  “Look GSL,  I can’t tell you the name. (which GSL already knows plus GSL KNOWS the NAME (see riff on Villain above).   but  I will do a time served on a misdemeanor  only ONE condition.  MR X is NOT allowed to return to the scene of the ‘crime’.  (which is a local Apartment Complex in Clark County…somewhere).    GSL looks at the DPA….”Why?”    And it is here where GSL really appreciates and admires the DPA. …who smiles and shrugs and says…”It’s Chinatown Jake” 

So, a few moments later GSL and Mr. X are trotting into the Courtroom and the  Judge is kinda leering at the ‘deal’  as he not to use to seeing B felonies dropped to misdemeanors and time served. “Just let me say, Mr. X.  you will be out of jail tonight and there is only ONE serious term of your suspended sentence….You MUST not got to the ****** Apartment Complex during the next year?  Understand?”

Yes sir your honor, says Mr. X.

And so the story would seem to end.  GSL stops for a moment, outside the Courthouse in the cool of the evening before returning to his home and smokes a cigarette  and takes a moment to enjoy how very well lawyered this case was.  Yet,  as a not high profiled case,  and not one even the State wanted to get publicity,  the accomplishment of GSL will be little noted by any except the DPA, the Judge and perhaps the police officers who brought the case to start with to try and “squeeze” Mr. X.  But,  there’s more work to do and more bread to be won…so GSL puts out his cigarette and heads out. To do battle on something else….and wondering if Mr. X would come by his office later as he has promised to.

Let the scene now shift ahead to the following Tuesday morning. Only one weekend has passed and as GSL comes into his office his faithful friend Miss S.  looks at him from her legal assistant’s desk and says,  take a look at this. She is holding  a xerox copy that gets faxed to the GSL office, it is the “Jail Book In List” .   There, about half way down the page is the name of “MR. X.”   charge:  “Trespass”.

Yes. Yes it is true.  Mr. X could not help himself.  He could not stop his feet.  He could not stop from going back to the  ****** Apartment Complex.