Bridge HELL …..Let’s name these suckers

Well …so sorry for Goliath’s delay and belayed absences from the ethernets and the internets. The internet demons and heathern gawds conspire mightily to prohibit Goliath from spewing forth the random fascinating commentary so much desired by our beloved community.  New Albany still sucking the hind teat as far as progress….no dad blasted bridges being built there you might note!!

But,  for Jeffersonsville it all too clear the massive bridge building has done hit overload and we ain’t but hardly started yet.  Already traffic is been tied up in an ugly snarl…as folks sit bumper to bumper like…smelling the delightful scented air of downtown Jeffersonville as they build the totally UNNECESSARY ‘DOWNTOWN” Bridge.   Goliath noted they done pile up the most humongous heap of gravel right next to I-65 entering the north end of the Kennedy…Goliath wonder about this here gravel pile until he see one day this past week they start pouring asphalt on top of it…after the heavy rainfall!  Boy…that just seem like a bad idea to Goliath ….but what the heck.

Goliath has also travel out to the extreme eastern most ends of the hinterlands of Jefferson’s ville akimbo to the beloved communty of UTICA.  UTICA is the delight and garden spot of the county and all and the many know this here.  They got building underway…don’t know if they are pouring water caps over heaps of soggy gravel there yet but suffice to say the bridges are coming.

So, Goliath think all has been done but the naming of these here wonderful engineering marvels of historic proportion so Goliath wishes to be the first to pop off with some ‘names’ that the all and many can write in the history books.   Are you like Goliath?  do you never can remember the dad blasted names of the bridges what you travel on every week ..perhaps ever day?  For example…the Clark Memorial Bridge…Goliath always just call that.. “the Second Street Bridge” and then when it come to the I-65 bridge…Goliath always call it ‘the Bridge’.  Then when people talk about “the Kennedy Bridge”  Goliath head sort of fuzz up and he got to bust a little effort to recall that is the ‘official name’ of the “Bridge”.  Likewise with the “Clark”.   However….Goliath never have no dad blast trouble recalling what bridge is “The SHerman Minton” bridge. That hideous and rusting structure just naturally is memorable in name.  Likewise…we should give these two new bridges names that stick in the mind like the proverbial turd in the punch bowl. Just to keep down on the confusion. So…Goliath proposes the following new names:

For the new Downtown bridge, Goliath proposes we name it “The Aleister Crowley Beast Bridge” and for the East End…Goliath propose we honor famous Jeffersonvillian, and Disney star, so we call it “THE MILEY CYRUS BRIDGE” 

What says you?  Thinks you these is not appropriate names for these colossuses?  YOu just not understand the wisdom of GOliath. IF we give these bridges these names we will blow the minds of all and a many who look upon the Kentuckiana area and wonder ..”What the hell is those peoples thinking?”  THey will never mind to be driving back and forth on the big Bridges and tell me if these peoples not look all very fine and proud together?

These here represent the best and finest traditions of CLARK COUNTY