Jeffersonville – November 13 Sources report that Goliath
was becoming very alarmed as aides briefed the 3,000 year old giant on all the implications of the new Trump Presidency. Inside the Goliath compound, a team of legal hotshots and experts were informing Goliath that Trump had promised deportation of as many as eleven million undocumented aliens. Today, Trump
revealed he would start with 2-3 million who had criminal records. This was a shocking development as Goliath as a ‘rap sheet’ for a variety of crimes including, but not limited to: Disturbing the Peace, Public intoxication, Theft of cases of Jagermeister, Piracy, Battery in the Third degree, Illegal possession of a Sword. In addition, Goliath doesn’t have no dad blasted birth certificate (except some clay tablets). He ain’t got no passport and he is, of course, a swarthy looking Giant from Philistine (present day Palestine). Looks like Goliath could be top of the list of “Deportables”.
Goliath was also alarmed at the new policies likely to go in effect over ‘unconventional’ lifestyles. That lying no good Pence what stole the vice presdency from Goliath also highly touted as being anti-gay lesbian and the whole array of unconventional lifestyle types. As the many and all knows very very well, Goliath follows an unconventional lifestyle having 2-3 concubines and never a one married. He is a heathern and continues to reject the implorations to Christian redemption from Erma Thrask (who, it is believed, has a straight line to the Pence “Christians in Government” camp). Thrask was reached for comment as to whether she might intervene on behalf of the libertine Giant but failed to provide any reassurances “He had his chance…elections have consequences” said Thrask.
Meanwhile, on the Cyber-security front, there were growing concerns that the Julian Assange take down of the Clark County Chatter may have just been a prelude to an even more mass DOS attack on the Gawnews website. Young Matt Chinn
had been called in to investigate some very troubling bot pings that so far, have failed to dig into the guts and liver of the Gawnews page. “It is imperative that our site not go down befores we can award the 2016 Goliath Blog Award!!!” commanded the rattled Goliath.
Sources report that a truckload of Jagermeister has been delivered to the compound and there are fears of a massive chicken massacre going on behind the walls of the Goliath Compound.