http://DODD: Hallowed halls a bit harried | Opinion | newsandtribune.com www.newsandtribune.com about the infestation of the courthouse with critters of the genus Apodemus is the genus of Muridae (true mice and rats) which contains the Eurasian field mice. (from wikipedia font of all internet authoritative knowledge and learning.)
Dodd’s article was mildly amusing but he completely ignored the other denizens that inhabit the courthouse. If one goes there and spends any time one soon learns that what first appears to be yet another dull, boring ennui inspiring office building …is actually a sort of jungle or menagerie teeming with all sorts of critters. Let us examine some of these.
Not for any particular reason, but I will begin with a creature we haven’t seen for a while, “the hissing viper”. The hissing viper is pretty much extinct now but it used to appear on issues of the day and was EXTREMELY toxic in both it’s presentation and it’s bite. Woe to anyone crossing the pass of genus Ronus Fiferedum . But, this was not the only reptilian creature to be found in the sporthouse. Consider the common ‘hall lizard’ noted to be loitering around the exits of the building, in groups and communicating in whispers and muted hissing. The notable feature of this creature was to be a source of virus-like narratives and stories that rapidly infected the entire courthouse and made mincemeat out of the targets of the tale. Some have been the victim of hall lizards but they will not be named here. No point in continuing the lethal strain of virus on this blog.
We have many creatures there. Rats and of course that special variety…the jailhouse rat. (remember that the Courthouse is annexed by the Michael Becher Adult Correctional Facility). We have weasels. These can usually be seen slinking in and out of the court rooms and prosecutor’s offices trying to pull tid bits of nutrition off of various cases. Love birds are there. Many of the denizens can suddenly become lovebirds and one can note that as soon as the birds begin ignoring each other at the workplace…you can be sure that the true love making has taken place. Unfortunately, these lovebirds are almost invariably doomed to a sad end.
We have Lions of course. Roaring creatures like Stephen Beardsley and cops in the Harold Kramer mold. Harold once (as a young cop) lept from a speeding cop car to the hood of some miscreants speeding Mustang to effect an arrest. Beardsley, who can charm his way with a lion’s grace and courage through the most disastrous of courtroom events. We have Bears…indeed…Grizzly Bears such Stan Robison. (Come come Mr. Robison…you enjoy killing as much as I). We have eagles there. Most of these are seated on high benches in the courtrooms wearing black robes. We have Vultures…we have toxic spiders sitting on their specialized webs. We have young “cheetahs” and old “cheetahs”. Nature’s rules of survival are on full display. On certain days you can see, up close and personally the wounded, the sick, the broken the hopeless, the desperate…all victims of some of the larger beasts that prey…outside in the other world.