Destroy the Jeffersonville City Court, by John Wesley Hardin

Note: Goliath relied on his pre-eminent legal scholar for this article rather than the GSL. As the all and many knows very very well,  the GSL is a two bit, parochial…not on the same plane (physically or spiritually) as the noted late murderer-lawyer-gunman, John Wesley Hardin. Hardin has a more nuanced point of view residing, as he does, in Hell. **************************************************************************************************

DESTROY THE COURT  by Hon. J. W. Hardin.  Greetings from Hell.  My dear comrade, Goliath, has asked me to investigate the current proposal by the kid with the big game, Matt Owen, to destroy the 54 year old Jeffersonville City Court and render my opinion on the matter.  Let me say at once, I am ALL FOR IT.

I have taken the opportunity to investigate this matter and it emerges that this dispute arose from a much earlier disputation. The gauntlet was thrown down and, in an earlier time, the result would have been bloodshed.  The town just ain’t big enough .   As an expert on blind hatred and fighting for the sake of the fight,  I can speak well to the benefits all of Jeffersonville has seen from this toxic struggle.  It is only fair, just and right that it end with the destruction of the City Court.  But,  the question arose…”how to do it?”  As my father, the noted preacher taught me at his knee….”there’s more’n one way to skin a cat”.

Young Matt Owen has perfectly posed the governmental arguments.  He waited patiently while the ISP in concert with a compliant Prosecutor case-starved the court for nearly a year.   The Court has gone from averaging about 1500 cases a year (up until 2013) to only handling about 450 in 2014.   Here in Hell,  we are quite aware and satisfied that the petty crime and vices that supply fodder to this court have not abated…nay…much to the delight of those of us in the fiery pits,  these petty sins continue on despite the best efforts of our friends in blue, the Indiana State Police. No…the dramatic reduction came from the simple expedient of ignoring the Court ordered case allocation plan that fed County petty theft cases to Clarksville Court and petty drug and alchohol cases to Jeffersonville Court.  While Clarksvilles docket continued,  with the boys in blue failing to file in  Jeff City Court….the docket dropped precipitously.   What a pity (ha ha) that the ISP did not find it necessary to follow the Court’s orders.

After all,  the ISP seemed to have something of a target on Judge Pierce’s back.  In the past year or so the had pulled him over on the Kings Highway not once, not twice not thrice…but 4 times apparently hoping to catch the good judge in his cups.  How spectacular it would have been for them to arrest Judge Pierce for DUI.  Sadly…this plan did not work out.

Meanwhile,  we see that the ISP was called in to root around the court’s files.  Desperate to find some sort of malfeasance.  Going so far as to threaten young pregnant staffers with ‘ghost employment’ if she wouldn’t ‘roll’ and give up the goods.  Perhaps some one could be induced to ‘sing’ Judge Pierce’s swan song. But,  dad blast it  that didn’t work either.

There were bitter lawsuits filed by the new clerk, Vicki Conlin, staunch Democrat to assert and proclaim her authority now the city was a ‘second class’ city.  Apparently, the new interpretation of moving up in class means jettisoning the judicial branch.  As a confirmed constitutionalist, highly in favor of State rights (I was a confederate sympathizer and highly offended at the idea of freeing slaves) I approve this effort.

I reviewed the tape of the meeting from last Monday night where young Mr. Owen introduced his proposal.  I was terrorized for a bit as I saw all his rationale be torn apart by the speakers in opposition.

— The court is the most effective in raising funds for do gooder programs (I hate that).  —-The court is a potential money raiser if the city would use it (from Judge Elect Commie-symp Brad Jacobs)

—-The numbers thrown up by Owen were flawed (from Pierce and confirmed by Conlin….’so sorry’).

—-  The observation that it made no sense to destroy this court ….when after all….the Circuit Courts where the cases would and have gone instead…are overloaded and, as a result, more unwieldy.

But Connie Sellers piped up….. she is in favor of the taxpayer.  Let it be known….let it be put of record….Let us all give thanks that Sellers motto is: THE TAXPAYER COMES FIRST….with her!!!  Never mind one could say she is shafting the county taxpayers (including Jeff taxpayers who, after all pay for the Circuit Courts too.)……even though Most of the crime in the county arises in Jeffersonville and Clarksville (recently named some of the most crime ridden towns in the WHOLE NATION)   make those boobs out in Nabb, Otisco, Borden and Memphis pay the freight.

My hat is off to this reasoned disavowal of municipal responsibility and aquiescence to the ‘powers that be’.  Good work council-ladies  Selllers and Gill!

But wait…..isn’t this all a plot?  Isn’t this just a way to FORCE Indianapolis to give Clark County the Extra Judicial help she so desperately needs?  The reasoning is that if we shut down the court we will absolutely CRUSH the Circuit Courts and, thereby demonstrate to “Indianapolis” they simply MUST give us MORE!!!  More Courts! More Magistrates!!  More STAFF!!! MORE PROBATION …MORE HOME INCARCERATION ADMINISTERS!!!!    Yes….I,  John Wesley Hardin now see the plan….it’s so beautiful! Get rid of one judge and a couple staff and we get scores more government judicial employees.  The argument is simply irresistible.

Mayoral Candidate,  Dennis Julius waited to the very end.  One feared that as a fellow Dem, he would oppose the destruction of the court merely on the selfish grounds that he would do better in his own quest for higher office if he had a fellow Dem on the ticket with him.  But  Julius showed just how visionary a candidate and future mayor he will be….he sided with my side…the side from HELL….the Sellers and ISP side.   We celebrated here in HELL !!!!   After all…isn’t about time the Court started making some MONEY???  Isn’t it about TIME….we were done with all this BACK BITING between Conlin and Pierce and their allies???   It’s sooooo distracting!

Young Matt Owen beamed.   The votes were made.   Ed Z and Nathan Samuels were the only  obstacles to destroying this court.   Nevermind….with brilliance on display the Correct RESULT occurred.

-Hon. John W.  Hardin


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