Goliath on Testes

UPDATE:  Tony Bennett has done gone and resigned from his big new position as Florida Orange Grand Educater.  This here TESTES scandal done take him down as bad and fast as a good  swift kick in the TESTES. (Cindy…I am lookin’ at YOU).  Here the big story. See, even though He ain’t done nuthin wrong and even though Big Buddy Govner Rick Scott SAY what a great guy Tony is AND OFCOURSE we not want him to go…..still Tony Bennett decide he Goat to go…for the GOOD OF FLORIDA!!! However, lets us be ever so clear…HE AIN”T DONE NO WRONG!!!  http://newsandtribune.com/local/x738615594/Tony-Bennett-to-resign-as-Florida-education-commissioner

I hear that Tony Bennett, a grand educator,  got wind that a school for kids that need seperating from ‘regular’ kids and run by mopes that gave hunnerd thousand dollars to Tony Bennetts big campaign for “Grandest Indiana Educmacator” was HOLY CRAP getting a crummy grade on the ISTEP.  Now The ISTEP is short for “ISTEP in CRAP” So Goliath look a little closer at this ISTEP in Crap testes.  These Testes are originally made to sort out the good people schools and the bad people schools.  What bad people schools come out bad on ISTEP in crap testes by scores…we rank (This is really cute) an A, B, C, D or F.  

F is a very very bad grad what nobody actually gets.  C is about as bad as it gets and it means really crummy. The kids ain’t learnin’ nuthin and the ISTEP in crap REVEALS it all!!!  Specially the one Tony Bennett dreamed up.

NOw,  once this here School showed how it SUCKED…..what on EARTH was Tony Bennett to do?  FIX THE SCORE METHOD~~~!   So easy…. a grand solution worthy of the genious of Goliath hisself.  Here the big story: http://newsandtribune.com/local/x751142090/GOP-donor-s-school-grade-changed-by-ex-school-chiefs-team/?state=taberU

Goliath like this quote from the NT story: “They need to understand that anything less than an A for Christel House compromises all of our accountability work,” Bennett wrote in a Sept. 12 email to then-chief of staff Heather Neal, who is now Gov. Mike Pence’s chief lobbyist.

That is pretty special.   (Here TB says “I got this”)

Meanwhile and furthermore,  We turn the page and see that the ISTEPPED IN CRAP test was all messed up anyway. Turn out,   Tony Bennett pulled the electyric plug on the computers that was a running the tests all over the State of Indiana trying to figure out a way to cheat on the scores for “Christel” house. And he shut down ABOUT A THIRD of all the kiddies what was takin’ the test!!!!  O My heathern Gawds!!!! Now EVER KID was about to be gob smacked with BAD VERY BAD ISTEP in YOUR CRAP Test results…..But Thank Mike Pence, we had somebody to run in and study the OUTCOME!!!   Guess what?

Indiana Hoosier Chillerns is so WHIP SMART that it didn’t even matter the test was shut down for about a year and they only got to fill in about 2 answers….It didn’t matter them kids was so edumercated CORRECTLY BY TONY BENNETT”S EDUCATORS  that they even did BETTER than they would have if Tony hadn’t blown a fuse on the computer trying to save Chrystal House School.  DOn’t believe Goliath?  HA!  here the big story…http://newsandtribune.com/local/x1645802535/Consultant-ISTEP-scores-not-largely-affected-by-computer-problems


So what are the lessons from TODAY’s news for the Kiddies?   A.  USe creativity and imagination to solve problems and if you don’t get it right the first time…try try again and again.   B.  Those tests are rigged or something so don’t worry about ISTEP in BENNETS Testes.   Just relax and have fun learning stuff at school.   C.  CHRYSTAL house a bad name for a religious school.   But, a very very good name for a school for future hip hop stars and gangstas

5 comments for “Goliath on Testes

  1. lemondjuice
    July 31, 2013 at 4:36 pm

    I heard Mr. Bennett on the news last night claiming they discovered an anomaly in the grading system that gave low scores to schools because they were being graded on areas that did not pertain to that particular school. The example he gave was the school at the center of this story, Christel DeHahn, does not offer courses past the 10th grade and therefore does not have any students who graduate from high school. But they were still being graded on graduation rates and so they received a “0” in that category. If that is the case, then it is unfair and should be corrected. HOWEVER (I am not shouting, just emphasizing), I have to wonder if this would have even been noticed, let alone addressed, had it not been Bennett’s pet. The emails suggest this was about him protecting this one school, not righting a wrong. My disdain for the man grows…

  2. cindiloohoo
    August 1, 2013 at 10:33 am

    Um…Goliath? I’m as astonished and outraged as anyone else about Tony Bennett’s blatant skullduggery, but…are you absolutely sure you meant to say testes?

    The pair of male reproductive glands enclosed in the scrotum that produce the male sex hormone testosterone and the spermatozoa. The singular form is testis.

    • Brian Coffman
      August 1, 2013 at 10:50 pm

      I think he did mean it that way. This whole article was about the size of Tony Bennett’s Cajones. I mean you have to have a set of plums that can barely fit through a door to try a stunt like this right?

      • sarahpeas
        August 2, 2013 at 2:50 am

        Oh my Gawd B!

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