December 9, 2013- GOLIATH COMPOUND, Jeffersonville IN-  Today Goliath officially announced a DECLARATION OF WAR!  Cyber hostilities are now OPEN AND war is declared on Narvik, Norway and The Clark County Chatter.  The causa belli are long and many, according to the peace loving Giant.

“All and many knows very very well that Goliath is a giant of Peace. However, in the events of mortal men there come a time when you must drink jagermeister and a time to refrain from drinking jagermeister.  A time to reap and a time to sew doilies.  Now is such a time to declare immediate and unmitigated cyber war on Narvik Norway and The Clark County Chatter.  The causes are just.  Our mission is sacred. Here are the offenses:

Re: Narvik:

1. In November 1979,  Goliath was a paying guest at the Narvik Youth Hostel along with his friend and companion Stats.  On a certain date, Goliath and Stats departed the hostel in the company of a pretty Australian girl and some dipshit Japanese fellow.  They proceeded to a local pub and commenced to drink Norwegian Beer thus…stimulating and benefiting the local economy.   On the walk back to the hostel, the party engaged in a snow ball fight.  SOME BODY throwed a snowball at a small white sedan that was passing by. Perhaps it was an accident…perhaps not. However, the upshot was that Goliath and Stats was throwed out, ejected and eradicated from their berth in the youth hostel.  This atrocious behavior has, until now, never been avenged. That changes NOW!!!

2.  Terms and conditions of war: Hereafter until the complete surrender or cyber annihilation of Narvik: the following:

a. Narvik is not permitted to comment, post or even READ Gawnews

b. Narvik is condemned to a measly 2 hours of sunlight per day from now until March 12, 2014

c. Narvik is banned from purchasing items from GOLIATH’s TREASURES internet gift shop. This is called a “Trade Embargo”

d. Nobody can say anything good about NARVIK on Gawnews.

If these here tactics do not bring Narvik to its knees…then harsher methods may be considered …such as publishing cartoons depicting Narvik as a cesspool of the North etc.,

RE:  The ClarkCountyChatter

1. As all and many know, from time to time Goliath has declared war on the CCC for various rude behaviors and affronts to the dignity and squalid effrontery of Goliath.  It recently come to Goliath’s attention that the CCC has BANNED a designated poster of GAWNEWS …one H.T. (hoosiertaxpayer otherwise known as “Batboy”)  from the CCC.

Goliath see where Quasar done posted all his big high and mighty reasons why he done this to HT…and, frankly, HT probaly richly deserve punishments and chastisements. None the less, HT is a longtime ally of the GAWNEWS and GOLIATH KEEPS FAITH WITH ALLIES. THus,  GOLIATH DECLARE WAR ON CCC.  This will be the 3rd massive cyber war fought with the hideous and illiterate CCC.  Goliath done vanquished the CCC before so we look for this to be a quick and easy squashment of that cyber site. Here are the terms and conditions to be imposed:

a. HOSTAGES TAKEN:  Effective immediately,  Goliath BANS Jules and CHOPPERGAL from the GAWNEWS.   (get it?  CCC ban one…Goliath ban 2 ! Ha ha ha!!!!)

b. Goliath shall re-run pas vicious attacks on the CCC. Such as famous cartoon of battlefield negotiations between Syn 2 and the (retired) Grumpy Granny.  for example.

c.  CCC must reinstate YMC  AND HT to the halls of the CCC …or EAT WAR ASHES


-Goliath,  December 9, 2013


Goliath announced additional HOSTILE terms imposed on the CCC to wit:

d.  TRADE EMBARGO: CCC may no longer have the privilege of purchasing Xmas gifts  (OR ANY other MERCHANDISE)  from the beloved GOLIATH’S TREASURES internet gift shop. http://www.printfection.com/account/store_section.php?storeid=104426

Heres some EXCELLENT items you will be missing out on:

The NSHBM FLipping the bird apron: 





  1. Brian Coffman
    December 9, 2013 at 2:29 pm

    Wow! This war on two fronts situation bears a striking resemblance to the recently concluded Marvel Infinity series. In this series The Earth faces extinction from a group of aliens called The Builders. They basically represent Norway in your war. Anyway, The Avengers decide that the best course of action is to take the fight to them instead of waiting for The Builders to come to Earth. So they send most of their heroes to take it to The Builders (Norway.) The group is led by Captain America (Goliath) and contains Thor (Syn II) Ms. Marvel (Leah) Black Widow (Southern Belle) and Hawkeye (The Hood.) They take the fight to The Builders and suffer mightily but thanks to Captain America (Goliath) and his expert leadership they are given a chance to negotiate a peace. They send their top negotiator Thor (Syn II) to negotiate and he ends up defeating the head builder (I am guessing this would be The Mayor of Narvik.)

    In the mean time sensing weakness on Earth The Mad Titan Thanos (Quasar) decides that now is the time to attack Earth. Earth still has one Avenger, Iron Man (HT – I know it is not Batman but this is a Marvel story, not DC.) Iron Man was left on Earth to form a contingency plan in case the other Avengers failed. He is way outnumbered. However, he still does have some friends to help him take up the fight against Thanos (Quasar.) He has Black Panther (KFetz) Spiderman (YMC) and Mr. Fantastic (The Dalai Lemme.)

    The first force to invade is Thanos elite guard The Cull Obsidian. They consist of Ebony Maw (Grumpy Granny) Corvus Glaive, Super Giant and Black Dwarf (Fill in the CCC Moderator of your choice for the last three.)

    How will this turn out?

    • December 9, 2013 at 2:33 pm

      It will turn out with humiliating defeat and the wailing and gnashing of teeth for CCC and NARVIK that’s how it dad blasted turn out.

  2. hoosiertaxpayer
    December 9, 2013 at 2:39 pm

    HT and Pesty reporting for duty

  3. Lono, Curse of
    December 9, 2013 at 5:58 pm

    G !
    Quite a Bill of Particulars
    for the two front war that the Goliath
    has been forced into both with Norway and the Rival CCC!

  4. 'Hood
    December 9, 2013 at 6:02 pm

    BC, EXCELLENT war analysis!
    The G’s vaunted war makers
    his vaunted news stringers
    will carry the day the day
    against the Evil Dooers!

    Great reporting and analysis from BC!

  5. Southern Belle
    December 9, 2013 at 6:24 pm

    GNB Mobilization Desk!

    Don’t forget, the wimmins
    are in for this fight too!

    General Eisenhower said
    that “a woman can do the work of TWO men! ”

    Count us in for this just fight against Norway and the CCC !

    • December 9, 2013 at 6:32 pm

      This film is a rally cry to the wimmens !!!

      • The 'BikerDude'
        December 9, 2013 at 7:57 pm

        I’a take the chic in’a polka-dot ‘kini !

        • The 'BikerDude'
          December 9, 2013 at 7:58 pm

          OOOOooooooo…….REDhead ta boot!……

  6. December 10, 2013 at 10:43 pm

    Now there’s another thing I want you to remember. I don’t want to get any messages saying that “we are holding our position.” We’re not holding anything. Let the CCC do that. We are advancing constantly and we’re not interested in holding onto anything except the enemy. We’re going to hold onto him by the nose and we’re going to kick him in the ass. We’re going to kick the hell out of him all the time and we’re going to go through him like crap through a goose! – Goliath

    • December 10, 2013 at 10:46 pm

      Narvik is on it’s knees, CCC is next.

Tell 'em how you really feel