Pride of the Dipshits

Goliath notice a phenomen what happen many many times.  People that not only are ignorant asses….but are PROUD of being ignorant asses.   For these here peoples,  Goliath has invented and come up with a very very good word.  These here are “Dipshits”.

Dipshits are the same people that do stuff like stand in a public bully pulpit and lecture the many and all about how “Life is Sacred”  and meanwhile …. beat the drum for War (so long as they don’t have to go fight).

Dipshits might be found condemning the homosexual lifestyle….and later be found in a Minneapolis Men’s room toilet playing footsie canoodle with another man.

Dipshits might go on and on about how the only acceptable form of Marriage  is ‘Biblical Marriage’….and then, when you ask them, “Hey, so Polygamy and concubinage is ok?”  They start sputtering.

Dipshits might run for office promising ‘the most transparent’ administration ever….and then refuse to turn over policy memorandum on Drone programs or “Fast and Furious” send guns to Mexican Drug Cartels.

Dipshits might be found wanting to cut education spending…but advocating arming teachers…shizz like that.

Now, it is true that sometimes Goliath acts like a dipshit….but here the one difference…Goliath ain’t PROUD of being a dipshit.    So  Goliath want to open this here post up for comments from the many many dipshits that are PROUD of being ignorant,  ‘goin’ with the gut’,  and even, maybe…wants to SECEDE…from their country.  Maybe you are one of them people that Damns Obamacare…..with the slogan “Gummit needs to keep its dirty filthy hands off MY MEDICARE!!!” 2009-08-05-oldladiesteapartysticker2.jpg  (Goliath actually seen that!).   So, an open invitation…Dipshits of Southern Indiana….tell us all about yourselves!!!!   For advanced Dipshits….they can take this test to see just how big a dipshit they are (Thanks to BESTPAGEINTHEUNIVERSE….which is a lie and stuff because GAWNEWS is actually the Best page in the universe as many and all know)

also,  Goliath VEHEMENTLY ( being vehement is a warning sign of possibly being a dipshit) disagrees with these definitions….well sort of :

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dipshit

 

35 comments for “Pride of the Dipshits

  1. April 9, 2013 at 11:58 pm

    C’mon dipshits…tell us your story!

  2. Jules
    April 10, 2013 at 4:44 am

    We have shy dipshits lurking. 🙂

  3. April 10, 2013 at 12:34 pm

    Dipshits need not Lurk!!! Bel LOUD and PROUD!!!

  4. Brian Coffman
    April 10, 2013 at 4:38 pm

    Come on G! This is like a license to steal. I am preparing some really good stuff worthy of the title on this that I will post later. You wanna see dipshit? We can deliver.

    • April 11, 2013 at 2:27 am

      Brian…please bring on the dipshit shit.

  5. Southern Belle
    April 10, 2013 at 6:29 pm

    Putin Attacked By NUDE Femen Protesters in Hannover http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=GUMOQrBkMZk#t=8s

  6. Southern Belle
    April 10, 2013 at 6:29 pm

  7. Southern Belle
    April 10, 2013 at 6:58 pm

    “An American spy!”
    Russian KGB trained Comrade Putin shows that he has a sense of humor!

  8. Southern Belle
    April 10, 2013 at 7:13 pm

    “Femen”
    From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    FEMEN (Ukrainian: Фемен) is a feminist Ukrainian protest group based in Kiev, founded in 2008. The organization became internationally known for organizing controversial[5] topless protests.
    Some of the goals of the organisation are: “To develop leadership, intellectual and moral qualities of the young women in Ukraine” and “To build up the image of Ukraine, the country with great opportunities for women”.[15] FEMEN activists have been regularly detained by the Ukrainian police in response to their protests.[16]
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FEMEN

  9. April 10, 2013 at 7:36 pm

    Topless protesting dipshits….excellent contributions Southern Belle.

  10. Southern Belle
    April 10, 2013 at 8:52 pm

    “To develop leadership, intellectual and moral qualities of the young women in Ukraine”.
    Emma Thrask would beappalled !
    Much obliged and thank you G !
    The GNB rocks!

  11. Lono, Curse of
    April 11, 2013 at 12:53 am

    Drug cartels cross border, infiltrate U.S.
    Operatives live and work deep inside suburbs

    Beyond the borders

    Border states from Texas to California have long grappled with a cartel presence. But cases involving cartel members have now emerged in the suburbs of Chicago and Atlanta, as well as Columbus, Ohio, LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY., and rural North Carolina. Suspects have also surfaced in INDIANA, Michigan, Minnesota and Pennsylvania.

    http://www.tennessean.com/viewart/20130402/NEWS08/304020054/Drug-cartels-cross-border-infiltrate-U-S-

  12. lono, Curse of
    April 11, 2013 at 12:58 am

    GOLIATH WISELY POSTED:
    “Dipshits might run for office promising ‘the most transparent’ administration ever….and then refuse to turn over policy memorandum on… “Fast and Furious” and ..send guns to Mexican Drug Cartels.”

  13. Lono, Curse of
    April 11, 2013 at 1:02 am

    Signs of Mexican cartels in Kentucky
    “In Kentucky, detectives say cartels have set up small organizations called ‘cells’.”
    Jennifer Baileys investigates Cartels in the Commonwealth and why they’re using Kentuckiana as a drug hub on WDRB News at 10. http://www.wdrb.com/story/15971932/signs-of-mexican-cartels-in-kentucky

  14. Lono, Curse of
    April 11, 2013 at 1:08 am

    Report: Mexico’s Drug Cartels Increasing U.S. Presence
    By Hayes Brown on Apr 1, 2013
    An Associated Press investigation out Monday shows that Mexico’s infamous drug cartels are attempting to expand their networks in the United States, cutting out middlemen to increase profits.

    Through interviews and reviewing court-documents, the AP says that the major cartels have stepped up their presence in cities throughout the United States.

    “This is the first time we’ve been seeing it — cartels who have their operatives actually sent here,” said Richard Pearson, a lieutenant with the L o u i v i l l e Metropolitan Police Department, which arrested four alleged operatives of the Zetas cartel in November in the suburb of Okolona.
    http://thinkprogress.org/security/2013/04/01/1802711/mexico-cartel-united-states/

  15. April 11, 2013 at 2:20 am

    Goliath strongly suspects there was a ‘cell’ in Harrison County Indiana operating in 2011 and one in Charlestown in 2009. They are here.

  16. Brian Coffman
    April 11, 2013 at 3:59 am

    OK. I am reluctant to post this but it totally fits Goliath’s “new word” Dipshit. As anyone who has read GAW or The CCC for any amount of time knows I really do not like discussions of political signs. Particularly discussions of the removal of these signs. I usually cue the Allen Iverson Practice video to show the repetitive nature of the discussion and the relative unimportance of it. That is why I feel that this event that I am about to describe should be the case study for dipshits.

    This happened last weekend in Utica. For those not up to speed there is a little fued going on up there. It started when a group called Jacob’s Well moved into the old Utica School. This is a Christian organization that is funded and sponsored by Southeast Christian Church and they are up there to do God’s work. I believe their current mission statement is that they are going to help single women with children who have had legal and/or financial trouble get back into society. Their mission has changed slightly and I am not sure what the most recent one is but it is something along that line. Anyway, there are many residents of Utica that are not happy with this group taking over the old school and they are rousing some rabble. Their are legal actions about deed restrictions and whether or not the pastor that is living in the school now made the improvements by following proper codes. None of this is really relevant to the dipshitery that I am about to explain but it is a good back story so you get the idea of what is going on up there.

    The citizens that oppose Jacob’s well have had signs printed up that say “Save Our Schools. The Law is the law and it applies to all. Stand up for your community.” These signs are all over Utica and can even be seen many places in Jeffersonville. A few of these signs were placed right as you come into Utica on 4th ST/Utica Pike. The person that owns the property where the signs were placed is one of the people that is leading the charge against Jacob’s Well. Her neighbor who lives on the other side of the street is on the board for Jacob’s Well and he is one of the people that spearheaded bringing the group to Utica and getting the school for them. This has caused a Hatfields and McCoys type fight between the two.

    So last weekend the lady who has the signs in her yard caught her neighbor red handed stealing the signs. This was a dipshit move on his part. He drove his four wheeler onto her property, removed the signs and took them back to his dumpster and threw them away. She called the police. When the officer showed up he asked both parties questions. She claimed he had come onto her property and stolen the signs. He claimed he did it but that the signs were not on her property. The officer looks at the fresh set of four wheeler tracks on her property and says “These are tracks from your four wheeler and they are clearly on her property (Dipshit move #2 leaving evidence.) Finally he takes the officer to the dumpster and shows him the signs (Dipshit move #3 admission of guilt.) Now fortunately for this guy they do not take people to jail for stealing signs as the jail is overcrowded with people who commit meaningful crimes. However, there was an arrest report that is public record (which is why I am not naming names. This guy is pretty respected in the community and you can find his name in the records if you want.

    A few days later there is a Utica Town Board meeting. This is a dipshit story for another time though. The important thing to note is that someone had pulled the public records and brought them to the meeting. This guy had said in the police report that he removed the signs because this lady and her crew that was trying to save the Utica School were guilty of “Hate Crimes.” This is Dipshit move #4 but I honestly do not know how to classify it but stating that a sign that says “Save Our School, Protect Your Community” is somehow a hate crime has to be Dipshit. Anyway he then denied ever saying that at the town board meeting until he was presented with the police report.

    Finally, in my opinion the biggest dipshit move is #5 where this whole discussion has now moved from a discussion on proper zoning and issues such as whether people will actually be living in the old school to an issue of signs. I mean what are we talking about here signs? Signs? Not the issues, not the issues that are important but signs. Look I know. I know that signs are important. They cost money and bring awareness to issues. I also know they can be infuriating if you disagree with them but what are we talking about here? Signs?

    • Brian Coffman
      April 11, 2013 at 4:00 am

      • sarahpeas
        April 11, 2013 at 10:39 pm

        Damn you beat me to it.

  17. April 11, 2013 at 4:13 am

    Brian, Goliath Salutes you and this awe inspiring tale of true dipshits in all the glory of dipshitery.

    In fact, If Goliath still had his royalty (Goliath was a Duke for a brief period of time in the 14th century) Goliath would make you a dad blasted KNIGHT of the GOLIATH TABLE for this tale of Utica dipshit glory.

    SEE FOLKS this is what Goliath is talking about. Goliath urge the many and all to tell their tales of dipshits they have known. Thank you Brian and also for the Iverson tape (Man…we is talking about PRACTICE!) Yes…the dipshits sometimes rule the world.

  18. Jules
    April 11, 2013 at 4:43 am

    Do dipshit “looks” count too??…If so, here’s my dipshit story for the day, ( and it’s not nearly as interesting and community conspiracy like as Brian’s), but I’ll share anyway…I was in the mood for some fresh produce today, especially some fruit…I try to support local homegrown businesses, etc., so I walked into a local produce market and what do I find??…NOTHING, but some tomato’s…OK, “perhaps” they’re restocking, ( although why bother being open with no inventory I don’t know), but anyway…So I look around and obviously have a puzzled looked on my face…Several workers just milling around and FINALLY someone asks if they can help me, and I say, “So there’s nothing here but tomato’s??…No other fruit??”…And all I get are blank faces, as if I’ve asked them if they have any parts for a 747 in stock…Finally, I get a nod, “no” and looks in my direction as if I’m the dipshit…Well, who can blame them really??…It’s not like there are several signs in front the building advertising fresh produce or anything…Imagine someone walking in looking for said product. SMH

    • April 11, 2013 at 11:58 am

      Oh yes Jules. This certainly qualifies as a dipshit story. How on earth could you be so dumb as to expect fresh produce at a store advertising fresh produce.? ……some true dipshit activity right there!

    • Brian Coffman
      April 11, 2013 at 12:28 pm

      That is a good one Jules. I do not know why but it reminded me of a story from my college years. It was the last day of school and I had to make a deposit on my apartment to make sure it would still be mine when I returned the next year. I closed my bank account in Bloomington and had cash in hand. I was going to pay cash for the deposit and take the rest of my money to buy gas for the ride home. Anyway, I show up at the apartment office and I give them the $100 deposit they required. The lady in the office looks at me and says “I’m sorry we do not accept cash.” I looked at her and said “What do you want me to do? Do you want Pesos? Should I bring in a Pig as barter? What do you mean you do not accept cash?” She then looked at me as if I was the dipshit for presuming that one would pay cash for a deposit.

  19. Jules
    April 11, 2013 at 12:48 pm

    I see great long-term potential on this subject…LOL

  20. April 19, 2013 at 12:47 am

    PLEASE: HELP A GIANT OUT TELL MORE OF YOUR DIPSHIT STORIES HERE!!!
    First time posters have to wait until we ‘approve’ your post…..but believe me…we will if it is a good DIPSHIT story!!!

  21. April 20, 2013 at 4:44 pm

    Here’s a contribution to the annals of dipshits: From my callout on DU:

    Iowa Senator Dennis Guth has to be a candidate

    I haven’t put anything on here yet as I have been busy, but this guy is a class A idiot:

    http://www.bleedingheartland.com/diary/6177/tip-for-republicans-heres-how-not-to-do-youth-outreach

    here is a small sample:

    “Let’s have a fair and balanced conversation. Back to the question: how does same-sex relationship hurt you? This is similar to asking me, “How does smoking hurt you?”
    Just as there are multiple ways that your smoking hurts me, such as secondhand smoke, increased insurance costs, cost to society from days lost to poor health, so it is with same-sex relationships. There are health risks that my family incurs because of the increase of sexually transmitted infections that this lifestyle invites. For example, there are more and more medical tests required before giving blood or giving birth.”

    **************************************************************
    Thanks Rural Lib for the contribution. Yep…that’s dipshit

  22. lemondjuice
    July 21, 2013 at 2:45 pm

    I am not a frequent contributor, but this topic just spoke to me. There are so many dipshit stories in the news to choose from, but this one was up close and personal to me. It is not political and there are no mean spirits or comments on society, but it still leaves me shaking my head.

    I live 2 hours away from my grown children (a good-enough distance away in their minds) and also enjoy road trips to foreign places like Florida and North Carolina. So I spend a notable amount of time in my car. When I travel alone, I always listen to books-on-cds. As you may know, Cracker Barrel has a program in which you pay full price for a book, but can trade it back in on another, and receive credit for it. They deduct an amount from your credit based on the amount of time you have kept it. One time I took in a book that had been in my possession so long, it no longer warranted a credit. I didn’t care about that – I just wanted it out of my car (I promise I dusted all the dog hair off of it first) and to obtain a new book as I embarked on another road trip. When the person behind the register handed me my receipt, the amount owed was about $20 MORE than the price of the book I was purchasing. When I questioned her about it, she said it was because of the book I was TURNING IN. Apparently the cash register reads the special receipt that must be kept with the book and automatically deducts an amount from the credit based on the number of weeks a person has had the book. This is great for the employee as their math skills are not tested and they are able to quickly get to other customers who want to pay for their biscuits and grits. However, the cash register programmer neglected to include common sense in the formula and there was none to be found in the immediate vicinity. Before I go any further, please do not take this as an indictment of all Cracker Barrels and their employees. I love Cracker Barrel and the fine folks who work there, and I am just commenting on one particular situation.

    I politely pointed out I had already paid full price for the book I was turning in, and while I was aware I was not due any sort of credit, I didn’t think I should have to pay them to take it from me so they could sell it again. The employee clearly thought I was just too slow to understand and called her manager over so he could explain it to me. The manager also relied entirely on the wisdom of the cash register and, in the most polite and gentle manner, tried to explain in his own words why I owed them money to take my book from me. I asked them to try and think outside the box (I did not use that phrase because I didn’t want to sound like a smarty pants, but that is what I was thinking) and asked him to clarify that, if I DIDN”T return the book I had already paid full price for, I would owe them less money and would have 2 books in my possession. But If I gave them the first book back, I would have to pay for that privilege. The answer to that question was yes.

    I am happy to report that was apparently just an anomaly at that particular store as I have not run into that Twilight-Zone situation since.

    • July 21, 2013 at 9:35 pm

      Thank you Lemonjuice. Yes…this is a tale of dipshits of epic proportion. To actually have the dipshit manager confirm that YES if we take that book you owe us OR you can keep it, have two books and NOT owe us” This qualifies for DIPSHIT HALL OF FAME status.

      DIPSHITS

      • Jules
        July 21, 2013 at 9:43 pm

        Does it make me a Dipshit because I had to read Lemonjuice’s story twice to verify that I’d actually read it correctly?? 🙂

        • July 21, 2013 at 11:39 pm

          No way Jules….its just such a staggering example of full tilt dipshit it confounds the ordinary reasonable person

        • lemondjuice
          July 22, 2013 at 2:49 am

          Not at all Jules! It really felt like I was in some sort of twilight zone, or down the rabbit hole perhaps…

  23. hoosiertaxpayer
    July 22, 2013 at 4:08 am

Tell 'em how you really feel