1. “Go away little girl” Even as a kid, and even with the juvenile Donny Osmond singing it you still knew this song was sick, wrong and disgusting.
2. “Hello Darlin” The greasy Conway Twitty talking to his ex-girlfriend and it’s stalker city.
3. “Torn between two lovers” First, lets, get to the fact this melody is the smarmiest and sickliest ever recorded. Second, the song lets us know she DIDN’T have to confess this…she has decided to lay out maximum damage. Third, the SICK stab to the first lover, that her ‘new’ lover can get to “this empty place inside of me that only he can fill”. Whoa, any guy hears that knows exactly what that means…he’s ‘more endowed’ than I am. What a beeotch! And…creepy to tell it and sing it. Then she expects him to say it’s ‘ok’ and stick around. What a creep.
4. “Don’t stand so close to me” A teacher can’t keep his mind off his student. CREEPY.
5. “Having my baby” “oh the seed inside you baby do ya feel it growin” …ok that’s enough.
6. “Superstar” Karen Carpenter channels the weirdest stalker fan. Add to it her own insanity…now we have a really creepy song.
7. “In Dreams” or “Candy Colored Clown” Even if you don’t suffer from Colourophobia…you would be properly creeped out by this. But certainly after David Lynch, an afficiando of the Creepy…featured this tune in “Blue Velvet” he permanenty placed it in the pantheon of creepy.
8. “Teddy Bear” A little crippled boy. The nauseau ensues.
9. “Stand by Your Man” “sometimes it’s hard to be a woman” Yeah….really. Of course, she wound up divorcing his ass.
10. “The Grand Tour” Considered by some, including Randy Travis, as the greatest Country song. But also a portrait of a self centered male chauvinist pig who still doesn’t get that its really NOT all about him …even after she leaves him high and dry.