Washin’ the Bullshit Down


A friend posted on FB that they wanted some inspiration.  They felt like not doing anything. They said their ‘get up an go got up and went’.  I am sorry. I can’t help you with that…BB.  As far as I know, most of humanity from the dawn of time did not live like we do…always marching along to a clock…with appointments and abstract obligations and productivity charts and the like. My private theory is that all this regimentation and abstraction of responsibility (mortgages, student loan bills, getting an IRA or a retirement plan going…etc., ad nauseaum) is the source of a good deal of our social problems, the current state of overall mental anxiety, the proliferation and rise of pharmaceutical relief in the form of Xanax, and other chemical solutions to the stress along with a good deal of origin of alcohol abuse and the shoving of a whole generation into the grips of opiate addictions.

But that’s just me.

Imagine, for most of history …people didn’t even have clocks or watches…let alone ‘fit bits’ to make sure you were getting the right number of steps in per day to make your cardio levels geesh! How did people ever get shit done?

I am probably the laziest bastard you will ever meet. Really.  But my own personal demons drive me to work every fricking day and run around checking my SEP account to see ‘how am I doin’ today?!”  Panic can set in if I let slip my mental guard and let the anxiety out of the box I keep it in.  But…whatever…that’s not unique to me.  Fortunately,  I was gifted with a not too fucked up childhood and a strong physical constitution.

“Good health….the most important thing” -Hyman Roth

But…dude….check it out…in my early twenties I worked construction as a laborer.  Now, it wasn’t all jobs that were equal…but put it down and believe it…I spent the summer of 1981 working on a huge CULVERT between the eastbound and southbound lanes of I-64 west of English Indiana.  This was the job. Fill up big coffin size wire baskets with big rocks …then, weave the wire baskets together with quarter gauge wire …10 hours a day in the blazing sun.  Buddy…that will make a man out of you.  Near the end of the project,  a huge rain came….and because the engineer had started the job at the bottom end of the culvert instead of the top…the whole super huge basket wound up rolled up and tangled with tree branches, broken wire cages and rock spread out.  I looked at it that morning.  They were going to start over.  I couldn’t do it though.  I quit.  Thank the heathern GAWDS I had the sense to quit.

I had other tasks that challenged me. One goal took fifteen long years…maybe more to achieve.  Then as a lawyer I have had some cases that have taken my heart and soul and years of my career.  All of them were murder cases.  One started in 1990….I wrestled with it until about 2005.  Another one was a case I tried,  I lost, I appealed I won,  I tried again the jury hung, I tried again I won…OMG!  Then there was the David Camm case….I was his civil attorney and working on aspects of the criminal case. It was a 13 year saga ….

So forgive me if sometimes I have to just mentally phase it all out and listen to this song and forget the hell about it all